Red Solo Cup
by HappyHufflepuff-RebelRavenclaw
Summary: ...I fill you up. LET'S HAVE A PARTY! Series of one-shots about parties involving red solo cups, all different characters, all different eras.
1. Red Goblets

Red Goblets

"I wouldn't call this a party, Godric, there's only four of us," criticized Salazar, "And besides, why are our goblets red?"

"Well I tried them in blue and yellow, but only red seemed good for us fellows," said Godric.

"As long as you're not pushing for your silly red colored house above ours," started Salazar.

"Tonight is not a night for jousting, good Salazar, but a night for revelry! We posted the last of the Hogwarts acceptance letters this afternoon, let us celebrate the first year of the best wizarding school in Britain with drink and dance, not with bickering!" Godric exclaimed.

"My dear Godric, with you drink and bickering go hand in hand," complained Salazar. "Not to mention _terrible_ dancing."

Before Godric could respond, Helga interrupted their conversation, saying things such as "friends are forever" and "fighting will tear apart the school" and "the cupcakes I baked are delicious". Godric and Salazar pretended they were listening to all of this while drinking mead out of their goblets when Rowena joined the three at the table.

"Red goblets, Godric? Have you been experimentally time traveling again?" inquired Rowena.

"Experimental divination, madam. You can use blue goblets for your party, but red is more appropriate for this occasion. Helga, these cupcakes are fantastic!" said Godric.

"Thank you, good sir. I added extra mulberries to them," Helga replied, "Good Salazar, why do you look so down?"

"I was just pondering that when students come here in September, I'm going to have to act responsible! And when are we ever going to be able to just hang out as friends together and not as administrators?" he said.

"Salazar, let us not worry about the future, but instead focus on tonight," said Godric standing up, "I propose a toast to us, Hogwarts, and bravery."

"To loyalty, friendship, and hard work!" added Helga.

"To wisdom, wit, and cleverness!" joined in Rowena.

"And to strong ambition, cunning, and slyness!" cheered Salazar, clinking his red goblet with his friends.

2 Hours Later…

"Nonsense!" boomed Godric. "Never tickle a sleeping dragon is a brilliant motto! It conveys the dormant power in our brave, brilliant academy!"

"Godric, you're a fool!" cried Salazar.

"Do you have any better ideas in your sly little cranium?"

"Never tickle a sleeping… snake," Salazar replied. Helga Hufflepuff started giggling wildly.

"You gents are so _funny_! How about, 'Honey badger don't care!'" she piped up.

"Helga, that does not inspire courage! That inspires… tomfoolery!" Godric replied.

"How about… wit beyond measure is man's greatest—" Rowena chipped in.

"Tomfoolery!" Godric cut her off. "Save your rash bookery for your own house!"

Rowena tried to tell him that bookery was not a real word, but Salazar cut her off. "You need more… snakes. How about wit beyond measure is snakes' greatest…"

"Tickle!" Godric shouted. "There needs to be tickling involved. You like tickling, do you not, Helga?"

"I do enjoy quality tickles indeed," Helga replied giggling.

"Well, 'tis too late, for I already ordered all of the custom silver engraved with _d__raco dormiens nunquam titillandus_," Godric insisted stubbornly.

"Godric! Shocking impudence!" Salazar exclaimed.

"Impotence? How dare you!" Godric cried, throwing down his gauntlet.

"What happened to dancing and drinking, rather than bickering?" Rowena cried desperately. "Do _not_ duel, I beg you!"

But they did not duel that night, because Helga threw up her mead all over the floor of Godric's common room. Salazar materialized a bucket, Rowena held Helga's hair, and Godric was left to clean up the floor of his beautiful new common room and dispose of all the trashed red goblets.

And thus the red solo cup was born!

/**

A/N: So, obviously, we need to credit Toby Keith for this one shot because of his ridiculous song, "Red Solo Cup." Basically these one-shots are all going to be quasi-songfic-ish (all the hyphens!). They're going to be from all periods of time, with all characters, posted in a non-discernible order. For the record, this one-shot was Hufflepuff's idea, and the next one is Ravenclaw's. Peace!


	2. Draco Malfoy's Wedding Reception

Draco Malfoy's Wedding Reception.

"Okay, Mummy, I have prepared the budget for Tory and my wedding reception," Draco said, sitting at the kitchen table in Malfoy Manor, pouring over a piece of parchment with his sparkle glitter crayon set.

"How much is it, Drakkie?" Narcissa crooned.

"10,000 galleons for our posh venue in Brighton; 15,000 galleons for tuxedo rentals; 5,000 galleons for caviar; 16,000 galleons for prime filet of dragon; 20,000 galleons for Tory's princess dress; 40,000 galleons for triple ply, magically soft toilet paper…"

"Cut to the chase, Drakkie!"

Draco skipped the rest of his sparkly spreadsheet. "…For a total of 2.4 million galleons!"

Narcissa teared up. "Draco, I am so proud of you. Your father and I truly taught you lessons in fiscal responsibility and humility."

"I know mummy, and you're the best mummy in the world," Draco said, hugging his mummy. They were interrupted by a ring at the bell.

Draco, filled with joy, skipped to the door. "This must be Tory!" he sang. He threw open the front door and swept the visitor into his arms.

"DRACO! PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW!" Hermione yelled. Shocked, Draco dropped her on the pure silver floors of the foyer.

"Granger! What are you doing here?"

"I'm here on official business from the ministry. We discovered your father, Lucius Malfoy, was running a ponzi scheme and financially ruined thousands of wizards all over Britain, including Prime Minister Tony Blair, some dude named Bernie Madoff, and the Greengrasses! I'm here to confiscate your property for auction to repay the damage you have done!"

"But where's my daddy?" he whined.

"The Magical Police arrested him, and he's serving a 250 year sentence for his crimes," Hermione replied. "I'm a lawyer!"

"Granger, you can't do this to me! You're probably getting some sick vindictive pleasure because I thought you were ugly like 10 years ago and I called your boy toy poor! Now I'll be poor, and without my expensive facials, I'll be ugly!"

"Draco, I would never take pleasure in other people's pain! I have too much empathy!" Hermione said, then started laughing, grabbed an armful of the Malfoys' stuff, and ran off to the giant truck outside, singing "Ding-Dong the Witch is Dead!"

Hoardes of buff lawyers walked by, carrying all of their expensive things out of their house. They even took Draco's glitter crayons.

"How am I supposed to pay for the wedding, Mummy?" Draco cried. "How is Tory supposed to pay for the wedding if Daddy ripped off their family?"

"It's okay, Baby Boy. Mummy will take care of everything."

/_Red solo cup…_/

The day of the wedding came. Draco fidgeted nervously inside his brand-new doublewide trailer parked in the backyard of Andromeda Tonks' house, the only family member they had left. He wore his Uncle Tonks' old school clothes, the only clothes he had to fit him, though he thought he looked pretty in the tattered old sweaters and Gryffindor tie to complete the look.

Suddenly, Tory came walking down the aisle in her torn jeans and white baseball cap. She was barefoot and pregnant, just how Draco liked his women. When she reached the pulpit, behind which stood the minister, some random hobo named Mundungus Fletcher, Draco unfolded a piece of parchment upon which he wrote in charcoal his vows.

"Astoria Greengrass, I take you to be my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, whether you were a Mudblood or a pureblood, whether you are barefoot and pregnant or shod and barren, and whether you are still brunette or bleach blonde like my mummy (HINT HINT)."

"Draco Malfoy," she said in her high pitched voice, "I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband, whether you are filthy rich or Weasley-poor, whether you are a total douche or brooding because you're a total douche, and whether the baby in my tummy is a racist loser like you, or a rebel that marries a Weasley."

The minister rolled his eyes. "By the power vested in me by the Ministry of Magic, I declare you husband and wife."

All five of the guests celebrated: Narcissa, Mr. Greengrass, Mrs. Greengrass, and Andromeda applauded while Dean Thomas cried happily.

The reception began immediately. Draco waved his wand and the place was decorated in the most expensive decorations they could manage: plastic flamingoes, Oriental Trading tiki torches, and a mountain of beer cans (some of them were unopened).

A red solo cup materialized in each of the guests' hands. Astoria searched through the pile of Bud cans to find 6 unopened cans and passed them out to all of the non-pregnant attendees.

Everyone raised their glasses as Dean Thomas cleared his throat. "Everybody, I guess I'll do the best man's speech. Draco, I don't really like you, and I'm not entirely sure why I'm here, but I hope you have a marriage as amazing as this beautiful ceremony." He choked up, coughing back tears. "I'm sorry, I'm just so… touched. I wanted to marry Ginny Weasley in just this manner… I'm sorry, bygones. Anyway, I propose a toast: to Draco, Astoria, and Fetus Malfoy!" Everyone clinked cups.

The beautiful strains of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" from _The Lion King_ poured through an enchanted speaker they found in the dump for the first dance. Draco held Astoria as closely as possible with her baby bump.

"Draco, you really know how to treat a girl like a princess," Astoria sighed, totally un-sarcastically.

"You know I do, Baby."

"This is such a comfortable doublewide for Fetus to live in."

"I really think we ought to name him something dope, like Scorpius, instead of Fetus."

She giggled. "Oh, baby, you are so funny."

The rest of the night was spent eating their McDonald's apple pie wedding cake, comforting a bawling, emotional Dean Thomas, and refilling red solo cups.


	3. Ginny's Birthday Party

Ginny's Costume Party

"Ginny, you're fifteenth birthday is coming up in July. How do you want to celebrate?" inquired Mr. Weasley during supper.

"I want a costume party in the backyard! And a puppy shaped cake! And a princess dress with a pretty gold tiara!" Ginny squealed over her dinner plate, "Oh and I want to invite all of my friends."

"You have friends?" Ron interjected. Ginny gave him a dirty look.

"I'm inviting Hermione and Harry to my party, too. But, Ron, you're not coming."

"Ginevra Weasley! Your brother is coming to your party and that is final!" yelled Mrs. Weasley.

"Like he knows any of my friends!" Ginny retorted.

"Well, you said you are inviting Harry and Hermione. So I think I'll know some people at this party," said Ron.

/_Red solo cup…/_

Finally, Ginny's birthday party came about on a cool July evening. All of Ginny's friends showed up (most of them Ron knew) when he finally spotted Hermione by the drinks stand, pouring coke (and conspicuously no alcohol) into a red solo cup. She was dressed in a long green t-shirt with a gold pin attached to it, leggings, and brown leather boots.

"What kind of costume is that?" Ron asked.

"It's nice to see you too, Ron! How are you?" Hermione replied coolly.

"I'm fine, just wondering why Ginny wants a costume party for her birthday and how old she's actually turning," he sarcastically remarked.

"Guys!" Harry exclaimed after reaching them. He bro-hugged Ron and looked at Hermione. "Hermione, what kind of costume is that?"

"I'm a book character guys! I'm Katniss-"

"LAME!" interrupted Ron.

"-Everdeen. And what are you supposed to be Ron? Who would be stupid enough to match camouflage pants with a silver sweater vest? And what's with the blue sweatband?" said Hermione.

"For your information, I'm a starship ranger. And, Hermione, you could've been some better book character than some girl who hunts," Ron said

"Yeah, like one of those hot vampires in America!" interrupted Harry.

"Or, that ugly girl who wanted to marry that old dude, but then it turned out he was married to some other girl. But she died conveniently and the ugly girl married the old dude in the end!"

"You mean Jane Eyre?" corrected Hermione, "Well thanks for calling me ugly, Mr. Ranger and Mr. Schoolboy. I think I'll just go dance with people who can read." She stalked off to the dance floor, leaving Harry and Ron together.

"Harry, what did you do to your hair? Gel?" Ron said, eying Harry's perfectly flat and clean hair. Harry was sporting a blue blazer with a red and blue tie, dressed like a Warbler to the tee.

"Magic. I accioed styling gel, but I didn't know how to use it, so I then had to summon a hair stylist, to make my hair like this. And then I had to obliviate the muggle stylist after he finished doing my hair."

Before Ron and Harry could talk further, Ginny squealed at the sight of Harry's hair and jumped into their conversation. Her terrible attempts at flirting with Harry were actually working and they ended up dancing together for the rest of the night. Ron was left alone sipping pumpkin juice of the red plastic cup in his hand. He looked for Hermione in the crowd, who was dancing with a Marie Antoinette and the third Gwenog Jones he saw that night, when someone poked him in the back. It was Luna Lovegood.

"Hey, Luna. How are you?" he said.

"I'm not Luna. I'm a crumple horned snorkack! Luna doesn't have a horn or blue skin! " Luna exclaimed.

"Yeah, okay, Luna. Well, I need to go see someone right now, so if you could let me go-"

"You want to see Hermione and I'm making you feel awkward," said Luna.

"Yeah."

"You called her ugly."

"I kinda implied it- yeah I guess I did call her ugly."

"Well, before you apologize, I'd suggest you get an examination for wrackspurts, just in case. There's a healer over there," she said pointing to Colin Creevey, who was dancing with another Gwenog Jones.

Just as Ron was about to walk up to Hermione, his mom walked into the back yard with cake singing "Happy Birthday" as people followed suit. Ten minutes later, Ginny finally blew out her birthday candles (Ginny didn't know what to wish for); everyone was eating the pieces of the puppy shaped cake. Ron then decided to man up and go talk to Hermione.

"Hey, Hermy. So, I like your costume," he said.

"No you don't. You thought I should've been someone ugly because I'm hideous," Hermione said coolly.

"I never said you were ugly."

"You implied it!"

"But you're not! Honestly, you have the best costume here. I mean look at that girl over there. She's like the fifth Gwenog Jones I've seen tonight. And Jones isn't even the pest player in the Quidditch League. Or look at Harry. He looks like he walked out of some TV show where the characters are completely inconsistent and all they do is mediocre covers American pop music. Or look at Marie Antoinette."

"That's Katie Bell."

"Oh, that's Katie? Well, she looks like there's something stuck in her hair. And her dress probably doesn't fit through doors. I mean, you're original- no one else is a book character here. And you kinda look like that Katniss chick. You really aren't ugly, I was just being mean and I'm really sorry."

"Really, Ron? I would compliment you on your costume, but I don't know what a starship ranger is."

"Don't worry about it. Let's make a toast. To awesome costumes and to you, Hermione!"


	4. Gryffindor Victory Party

Music boomed loudly through enchanted speakers floating high in the risers of the Gryffindor common room. The playlist was comprised mainly of wizard bands, but now it blasted One Direction.

"Stop it! Stop it! No One Direction allowed!" James Potter yelled loudly over the squealing 2nd year girls who simply sung louder in response.

"Just because you're Quidditch captain doesn't mean you can boss them around!" Albus yelled back, in between singing along with them.

"Yes it does, it was declared an official rule in 1905. It's in _Hogwarts, a History_."

"No it's not, James."

"Prove it!"

Consternated, Albus ran up to his dormitory to fetch _Hogwarts, a History_ trying to prove his brother wrong. Meanwhile, James switched the music to Quaff-ull and SnitchEEZ, the famous wizard rap duo.

"Wanna be my patronus baby, do you wanna be my patronus baby? You comin from my wand baby—"

"JAMES THIS IS SO INAPPROPRIATE! What would your parents say about the lyrics you're listening to?" his cousin Caroline Dursley squealed. "Put One Direction back on! Or Justin Bieber," she sighed.

"Ladies, ladies, never mind James' horrible taste in music. Wanna hear about how I caught the snitch right out of the hand of Cho Jonas?" Scorpius Malfoy drawled. He jumped up on top of a table, toppling a pile of red solo cups. "Gryffindor down by 10 points, and out of the corner of my eye—" he began, but trailed off when he spotted Rose across the room, snogging Jacob Finnegan. "OI! Get a room!" He tossed one of the unused solo cups at them and missed by a mile, accidentally hitting Albus, who was still combing through his textbook.

"This is why you're not a chaser, Scorpius. Pathetic," Rose commented.

"I'm sorry if I expect some public decency from my teammates," he replied.

"If you're going to physically assault me and my boyfriend _I_ expect decent aim!" she hissed coolly.

"Aren't you going to finish your story, Scorpius?" the first year Gaby Thomas simpered.

"Yeah, whatever," he said bitterly. "I need more firewhiskey."

"That's also against the rules, Scorpius!" cried Albus from behind his book. "And I've finished looking through the book, James, that rule _doesn't_ exist!"

"Guess again, Al. In 1668 they created a rule that said that 5th years can drink firewhiskey before OWL results come in, if drunk in red cups," James replied.

Albus immediately reopened _Hogwarts, a History_ in response.

"You take your prefect duties _way_ too seriously," said Hugo, throwing himself down on the couch between his sister and her boyfriend. "Lighten up, Al! We won the Quidditch cup for the first time since our _parents_ were here!"

"Yeah, Al, lighten up a little!" Rose said as she shoved her brother roughly off the couch. "Have some butterbeer at least."

Against his better judgment, Al sighed. "You're right. I mean, just _one_ night of irresponsibility can't hurt, right?" He sauntered over to the drink table, poured himself some butterbeer in a solo cup, and clinked glasses with his friends. "To Gryffindor house!" he called patriotically, raising his glass high in the air.

Right at that moment, an aged McGonagall burst through the portrait hole to investigate the incredibly commotion she had heard in her chambers. "ALBUS POTTER!" she cried. "Instigating a… a… drinking party as a prefect! 5 points from Gryffindor! And get down from that table, Scorpius, we've discussed what is and is not appropriate to dance on."

"But, Professor, this is not what it looks like!" Al cried.

"I told you it was against the rules for 5th years to drink, Al," James said, hiding his own drink behind his back.

"Consider your party busted," McGonagall declared. "I'm getting too old for this foolishness." She walked very stately-like out of the room, but before she crossed the portrait hole, she flicked her wand at the speaker. "At least listen to some better music," she snapped. And like that the Weird Sisters began to play over the speakers.

The room was dead silent for about 30 seconds after her exit, until the party broke out again and Gryffindor continued their celebration.


	5. Kareoke Night

Kareoke Night

The Three Broomsticks was hosting a karaoke night. All of the Hogwarts student were invited to come of course!

Ginny walked up to the stage. "Um, this is dedicated to my super amazing boyfriend ever. He knows who he is!" she giggled, winking at Harry.

Ginny then started singing, "We were both young, when I first saw you, I close my eyes and the flashback starts, you're standing there..." She gave a gushy rendition of "Love Story."

"Your sister has a beautiful singing voice," Hermione commented to Ron, squeezing his hand tightly.

"Well, it sure beats her screeching at me," Ron replied sullenly.

"Don't be so negative, Ron!" she replied.

"So I'm moody, is that not allowed anymore? It's allowed for you every 28 days. And you eat all my chocolate frogs," he grumbled.

"Ron!" Hermione gasped. "And I was just about to get up there and sing you a love song," she cried.

"That's really not necessary," Ron said.

"Fine then!" Hermione cried.

She stomped up to the stage.

"...cause we were both young when I first saw you." Ginny finished. Everyone clapped and cried and cheered at her amazing voice. Harry did all three.

"Looks like we have our next volunteer!" the MC, George Weasley, announced. "Give it up for Hermione Granger, everyone!"

"Seriously?" Parvati, a mean girl, whispered. "She's going to suck so hard."

"Be nice, Par," Lav Lav said, "She may be one of those shrinking violets, who look nerdy and untalented in person but on stage, have amazing singing voices, like Gabriella from High School Musical!"

"Zefron, seriously?" Parvati snapped. "Taylor Lautner is soooo much hotter."

"Excuse me!" Hermione cried. "I'm trying to sing here!"

Everyone quieted down. "I need some serious, 'In your face, boyfriend!" music," she said.

Magically the song "Gunpowder and Lead" by Miranda Lambert began to play over the speakers!

Hermione sounded like a dying cat. Even Crookshanks peed in Hermione's closet from afar, sensing her dreadful singing performance.

"Okay, okay, Hermione, that is just way too far! Just because I'm ornery doesn't mean I'm physically abusive!" Ron yelled. "Gimme that mike! Play me some good music, MC!"

George put on "Baby" by Justin Beiber, just to be irritating, until Ron threw a shoe at him, and he put on some proper angry music.

George then played "This Love" by Maroon 5. Ron was almost as bad as Hermione! Everyone just stood there awkwardly as Ron was belting pop music off key and off rhythm.

"You liar! I'm not a tramp! And you know it too!" hissed Hermione. She wrenched the mic out of Ron's hand and started singing "Picture to Burn" by Taylor Swift.

Everyone covered their ears again.

"Guys, can't I sing?" begged Harry.

"Never!" yelled Ron and Hermione. Hermione grabbed the mike, "According to yooooouuu I'm moody, I'm useless, lalalala," singing Orianthi's jam.

Then Ron grabbed the mike back and started singing an angry Justin Timberlake song.

Then Hermione grabbed the mike back and started singing "Stronger" by Christina Aguilera.

Then Parvati grabbed her wand, stunned them both, and pushed them off the stage.

"You're welcome," she said, as everyone cheered.

"Now, can I sing?" Harry said. "I am getting very ANGRY"

"Too bad, because it's my turn!" Dean exclaimed.

Then Dean started singing, "Now this is the story all about how , My life got flipped, turned upside down, And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-air..."

Everyone loved Dean. First, he rapped. Second, he was singing songs from the present era of 1999, not 2009.

"Finally! My turn!" cheered Harry. He coughed into the microphone. "I'll be jammin' a tune with my fine guitar. Here goes nothing. Red solo cup. I fill you up. Let's have a party... Just kidding. Let's get real 1999!" Harry then sang "Two Princes" by the Spin Doctors.

Harry wasn't as impressive as Dean, but he got everyone to clink their red solo cups together.

Then it was the bartender's turn. Aberforth Dumbledore stole the mic. "I hope you kids are ready for some real fun!" he called like a creepy old man in a white van.

He then began to sing "Muskrat Love," except he sang, "Goat Love." It was positively bizarre.

"I AM NOT FINISHED HERE," announced an irate Hermione from the back.

"NOR AM I!"cried Ron.

Hermione's heart was momentarily softened. "You used the correct word, Ron! 'Nor' rather than 'or'!"

"Always the tone of surprise!" Ron replied. They then looked at each other with gooey eyes, and ran up the stage and began to sing a duet of "Soooaring, flyyying, there's not a star in heaven that we can't reach."

Their combined terrible singing was so terrible, it created a new awful form of dark magic. From that day forth, the minister of magic outlawed Ron and Hermione to sing duets ever again and destroyed all video tapes of their recording.

"Fine then!" Ron and Hermione yelled.

Ron gazed at Hermione. "Would you like me to disapparate you to your home?"

"Only if you serenade me!" blushed Hermione.

"Not in here!" yelled Neville, "Unless you want the Aurors to arrest you."

"Disapparate!" exclaimed the couple, and they vanished from the bar.

"Before the bar closes, would anyone like to sing one last song?" announced George. "No one? Just me?" said George. "Okay then."

Slow music started over the speakers. George sang a surprisingly touching version of Missing You, for his brother.

The end.

A/N: now obviously, we need to credit manny artists... so to Taylor swift, Miranda lambert, Justin beiber, Maroon 5, More taylor swift, Orianthi, Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, Will Smith, Toby keith, Spin Doctors, Captain & Tennille, Troy and Gabriella, and Harry Potter and Quirrel, thank you! Did we miss anybody? Also, we missed it a week ago or so, but we recently had our 1 year fanfic-aversary! YAY US.


	6. Hufflepuff Party

Hufflepuff Party!

"Partaaaaay!" cheered Tonks as she entered the Hufflepuff common room. To her dismay, she saw the students just sitting in their chairs and on the couches, heads hung low. "Guys, what happened to the party you were having? You beat Gryffindor, again!"

"Educational decree number five bazillion: Parties are not allowed, unless Dolores Umbridge is invited to them," sighed Hannah Abbott.

"We don't want that witch at our party!" said Ernie MacMillan.

"And I've already baked so many cupcakes for everyone, too! I found Helga Hufflepuff's recipe and they were supposed to taste amazing!" added Hannah.

"We could party, but we don't want to get caught and get expelled or sent to Azkaban!" exclaimed random Hufflepuff #3.

"You don't want to party because of that old, fat, delusional witch? Even when I'm here as a substitute for Sprout? That's not the Hufflepuff spirit! We are the badgers and you know what the badger does when threatened? It fights back!" Tonks said. She locked the common room passage from the inside and cast a silencing charm, so no one could hear the Hufflepuffs party.

"Let's do this!" announced the moving portrait of Cedric Diggory. The seventh years transfigured some couches to loud speakers, blasting Weird Sisters. First years charmed the cactus, Bob, to dance with the music and Tonks made the butterbeer flow from the pitchers into red solo cups. Soon enough, everyone was dancing, playing butterbeer pong, and enjoying Hannah's cupcakes.

"Oh Cedric, for being just a portrait, you're still handsome," sighed a six year girl. Portrait Cedric laughed at her compliment and then turned her down because he was still in love with a Ravenclaw girl.

"But Cedric, don't you know that she's into Harry Potter? They've been flirting at DA meetings," chimed in Susan Bones.

"I'll be right back," said Cedric, leaving his current portrait to go find one in the Ravenclaw common room.

"Hey does anyone want to hear about how I scored my 23 goal against Ron Weasley?" interrupted a half sober Zacharias Smith. Everyone ignored him because, let's face it: Zach was put into Hufflepuff because he's one of the 'rests' as the sorting hat would say. Zach's loyalty and hard work were equal to Ron's confidence on the Quidditch pitch.

Before anyone could even sip more butterbeer they heard a shrill voice. "What's going down there Hufflepuff? Let me in!" Umbridge.

Susan Bones fainted. The seventh years turned the stereos back into couches. Fifth years transfigured the food and drinks into text books. Bob was made lifeless again. Banners and party hats were hidden under couch cushions and Cedric went back into his frame.

Tonks unlocked the common room and let the pink blob of a witch come in. The Hufflepuffs all looked down into their 'text books' nonchalantly. Umbridge stared at them for a few seconds before speaking.

"I thought I was hearing music outside the Great Hall before I realized it was coming from your common room. And what is this?" said Umbridge in her shrilly high voice.

"Study session. We are tutoring each other in Defense Against the Dark Arts since we feel extremely unprepared for our OWLs. The younger puffs were encouraging us and the Six and Seventh years were practicing with us for NEWTs," smirked Justin Finch Fletchley.

Umbridge, repulsed by the news turned her attention to the passed out Susan on the floor. "And what's Miss Bones doing on the floor? And why are you studying Defense when your textbooks say they're for Algebra?" Umbridge said.

"Justin and Hannah were practicing stunning each other and Susan accidentally walked in between the two duelers!"Tonks lied, "The spells were casted beautifully even though Susan got the worst of it. Tommy Jones and Zach Smith were using Algebra textbooks are targets for the vanishing spell!"

"Ooh really? Can Mr. Smith really vanish something in the room right now?" Umbridge asked suspiciously.

"You know I can!" exclaimed the half sober Zach. Pointing his wand at Umbridge he yelled "_Evanesco_!" The fat pink colored witch disappeared!

"Zach! What did you do?" squealed first year Rose Zeller.

"I sent her to the Gryffindor tower! Or was it Azkaban? I don't-"Zach then proceeded with burping for five minutes. Everyone continued to ignore him and Tonks sent Dumbledore one of those patronus messages, informing him about Umbridge.

"So, can we go back to partying? I was quite enjoying it all," announced portrait Cedric. Everyone looked around at each other before Justin spoke up. "Why not? We still have all of this unfinished cake, Hannah's cupcakes, and butterbeer! Party on!"

Everyone cheered and started dancing again. Megan and Hannah revived Susan and everyone was clinking cups with one another, saying "To Hufflepuff!" Cactus Bob was back to dancing. The Hufflepuffs were cracking jokes and were starting to fade when, finally, the song "Thriller" came on the stereos. All of them got up and danced, including Cedric, dancing around in his frame.

The next morning at breakfast, all the other houses wondered where Umbridge went. The Hufflepuffs kept quiet the whole time, smiling and looking into their plates contemplating on whether or not to tell, before concluding, what happens in the Hufflepuff common room, stays in the Hufflepuff common room.

The End!

A/N: Yeah, so this one does not take place in Inquizitor Squad, but that doesn't mean I can't include Tonks! If you disagree review, and if you agree review anyway, please?


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